I've been a NASCAR fan for about 17 years.
This has forced me into many conversations with non-fans who just don't get it.
"It's just a bunch of rednecks turning left for 4 hours."
"NASCAR stands for Non Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks."
I've heard them all, and admit they're funny and partially accurate.
The thing is, I don't understand why I am expected to defend my appreciation of Stock Car Racing. Or even why I feel the need to explain it.
Anyone who says watching baseball is more exciting than watching a race must be high.
"He scratches his balls... checks the runner... grabs the rosin bag... adjusts his cap... foot on the rubber... checks the runner again... shakes off the first sign... shakes off the second sign... accepts the third sign... scratches his balls again... here's the wind-up... and the pitch... low and outside for ball one."
There's a minute of my life I'll never get back.
Basketball (hate it) and Football (love it) have time limits to keep the action moving... why not baseball?
Watching the machinations of some batters makes me want to shoot the TV. 10 seconds of ritual prior to every pitch? Can your cleats possibly have become packed with dirt in the last 4 seconds? Do you really need to cross yourself and kiss your necklace up to God for every pitch?
I've spent a lot of time over the years trying to explain my appreciation for auto racing to people who just don't get it. Its usually time wasted. Just like anyone telling me how exciting baseball is on TV would be a waste.
I suppose it comes down to a couple of things; I've been to races live, which is one of the most visceral experiences one can have. Perhaps I now transfer that experience into the races on TV. I know the smells, the thunder of the engines in my chest.
More than that - and this is the shortest explanation I can think of :
Consider you own car for a moment. Next, consider the fastest speed you've ever driven that car in tight traffic. What is that speed? 70 miles per hour? 80 at the most?
Remember, I'm not talking about the fastest you've ever driven when alone on the highway. I talking about the fastest you've gone when there was nowhere to go. Cars in front, back and on both sides. Consider driving in that situation among cars without brake lights or turn signals, and anyone might jig from lane to lane at any moment without notice.
Might that be a little bit stressful to do for 10 minutes?
Now increase the speed by more than double, up to almost 200 MPH - but maintain the same proximity to the cars around you.
Now do that for 4 hours.
In addition, consider the fact that you are running your car all-out the entire time.
Most of us do basic maintenance on our cars prior to a 2 hour trip at 60 MPH. When going to the beach for the weekend, as an example.
Consider running your own car full-throttle for 4 hours. How confident are you that every system in the car will survive the trip?
Are you able to recognize by feel when your left rear tire is exhibiting excessive wear?
Would you be able to perform at your best throughout the 500 full-throttle miles strapped into a five-point harness, full-face helmet strapped to the body of the car, without the ability to turn your head to look out the side windows?
Would you further be able to do all of this while enduring 120 degree temperatures?
I don't offer this quiz in hopes of building support for auto racing. Nor do I expect to change your mind about NASCAR in particular.
I'm just trying to offer a minimal insight into some of the things that drew me to the sport, and keep me tuning in week after week throughout the longest season in professional sports.
Think of the toughest guy you personally know, or pick your favorite tough-guy athlete.
Neither of them could compete in a NASCAR event at half the distance or speed.
Says something about the guys in the drivers seat of those gaudy-looking cars, don't you think?
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Saturday, February 16, 2008
... drive like an idiot.
As someone who spends a lot of time in my car – and even drove professionally for a time – idiot drivers might be my biggest pet peeve.
If you’re reading this and wondering whether you’re an idiot driver, you probably are. If you’re reading this and thinking “This isn’t about me… I’m an excellent driver… definitely an excellent driver”, you’re probably an idiot too.
If people cut you off all the time or if you feel like everyone on the road is out to get you – you’re an idiot driver.
Here’s the deal folks, you are NOT the only person on the planet.
The key to being a good driver is to become like a leaf in a stream. Most of you are boulders. If you learn to flow with the current, you will find that time spent in your car will become much more enjoyable.
I’m not referring to the speed with which traffic is flowing, although that is important. I am talking about not making a spectacle of yourself.
Being a smart driver is about more than being technically proficient with the pedals, switches and levers.
It has little to do with whether you talk on the phone.
However, if you text message while driving, you’re an uber-idiot.
Let’s get a few things out of the way right off the bat:
· The left lane is called the passing lane for a reason.
· The lines painted on the road and in parking lots are there for a reason.
· Turn signals matter. As does shutting them off.
· Corner gas stations are not short cuts.
· A yield sign means that if continuing forward will impede the progress of another driver, you are to STOP until such time that the coast is clear. It does not mean to let off the accelerator for a second and then blindly forge onward.
· A merge sign means that you are to match speed with the flow of traffic BEFORE joining the stream. Similar to a yield, your task is to avoid effecting the progress of other drivers.
Very few people seem to understand either the tricks or the etiquette for driving in bumper-to-bumper traffic. The first key is that the closer you follow the car in front of you, the worse the traffic jam will be and the longer it will last. Every time you brake hard or come to a complete stop, there is an accordion effect behind you. The first guy jumps on the binders a little faster and harder than you did, and so on down the line, which extends the jam further and further back. In fact, most jams are caused by someone jamming on the breaks unnecessarily when traffic is still flowing at speed.
Why do you stick to the bumper of the car in front of you when traffic is barely moving? I know, you’re afraid someone from an adjacent lane will cut in front of you if you leave any room.
So what if they do? You’ll get to work one car-length later?
There is no speed at which this is a viable argument.
The only time tailgating is permissible relates to item one in the above list; when some asshole has determined that the left lane is just the spot for a leisurely drive.
Even in such a situation, the tailgating should only last a few seconds. A good driver will recognize that you want to get by and will move aside at the first opportunity. Staying on their bumper when the right lane is crowded is pointless and dangerous.
The idiot will continue on for miles with your grill in their mirror. Don’t bother risking your life sending a visual message to the blind. You may be forced to pass on the right, always the more dangerous option, especially on a multi-lane highway.
If you are someone who is often passed on the right, you’re an idiot. Stop driving in the left lane.
Other than while sending a “move over” message to the highway pace car, at all times – and all speeds – you should keep enough room between you and the car in front to allow another car in.
At high speed, this allows others to slide over when they encounter slower traffic.
At low speeds, it allows you to release the gas pedal and let the engine’s compression slow you down without having to flash your brake lights at the car behind you – possibly causing him to extend the jam.
At any speed, it gives you the opportunity to react to sudden changes. The more room, the more options you have. If you’re too close, your only option is to mash the brakes and pray. With just a little more room, you might be able to steer to the side. Even if you end up off the road, you’ll likely be better off than if you slammed into the other car.
If everyone on the road were willing to leave just a little more room between cars, our traffic problems would be greatly reduced. It is a myth that jams are caused purely by volume. Most of them are caused by idiots. Think of the past fifty traffic jams you’ve been stuck in. How many of them had any discernable cause, like an accident or a disabled car? Ten, maybe?
That means the other forty were caused by idiots.
If it sets your mind at ease, most drivers are idiots. So if the things I’m saying are hitting a little close to home, you have plenty of company.
The typical rush hour jam is caused by a train of cars following too closely at speed. Perhaps the first guy sees brake lights a quarter mile ahead (the minimum distance you should be watching) and lets off the gas in anticipation… he is not the idiot. The second guy, who is already following too close panics when the other car suddenly gets closer, and hits the brakes. Upon seeing his brake lights, car #3 overreacts even more.
The pisser about this is, these first idiots remain clueless to the disaster unfolding behind them. After their initial tap of the brakes, they’ve continued on without further issues. Within a minute or two, due to the accordion effect – the cars a mile or so back suddenly find themselves at a dead stop.
Don’t block intersections when you’re stuck in traffic. Leave room for cross traffic to get through. And allow drivers from cross streets to join the misery if they’re indicating a desire to do so.
Take 5 seconds to back and fill if your first attempt at parking didn’t end with you between the lines. I personally think I should be within my legal rights to do physical damage to your car if it is straddling the line.
If you are one of the first 4 cars at a stop light, pay attention. Driver number 10 might actually get through on the green if you move your ass promptly.
If a light turns yellow before you reach the intersection, stop at the limit line.
If you’re not POSITIVE that you’ll make it through a congested intersection before the light changes, don’t try.
Give tractor trailer drivers a break. Signal well ahead of time when changing lanes in front of them, and don’t make the move until you’re well in front of them. Not only can they not stop as quickly as you, they can’t see the road right in front of them.
When a trucker signals a lane change in front of you, flash your hi-beams when he’s clear to move over. He’ll give a thank you flash of his trailer lights, and you will have helped clear the left lane for other drivers.
If you drive/ride a vehicle with loud exhaust, be considerate while driving through residential neighborhoods. Nobody is impressed when you burp the throttle at 2 in the morning and wake up their kid.
If you ride a bike and can’t be bothered to be considerate, you’re the reason people fight for noise ordinances. It is true that ‘loud pipes save lives’, but if you expect people to support the idea – stop being a dick.
That’s it for now, but I have a feeling this is only the first in a series.
If you’re reading this and wondering whether you’re an idiot driver, you probably are. If you’re reading this and thinking “This isn’t about me… I’m an excellent driver… definitely an excellent driver”, you’re probably an idiot too.
If people cut you off all the time or if you feel like everyone on the road is out to get you – you’re an idiot driver.
Here’s the deal folks, you are NOT the only person on the planet.
The key to being a good driver is to become like a leaf in a stream. Most of you are boulders. If you learn to flow with the current, you will find that time spent in your car will become much more enjoyable.
I’m not referring to the speed with which traffic is flowing, although that is important. I am talking about not making a spectacle of yourself.
Being a smart driver is about more than being technically proficient with the pedals, switches and levers.
It has little to do with whether you talk on the phone.
However, if you text message while driving, you’re an uber-idiot.
Let’s get a few things out of the way right off the bat:
· The left lane is called the passing lane for a reason.
· The lines painted on the road and in parking lots are there for a reason.
· Turn signals matter. As does shutting them off.
· Corner gas stations are not short cuts.
· A yield sign means that if continuing forward will impede the progress of another driver, you are to STOP until such time that the coast is clear. It does not mean to let off the accelerator for a second and then blindly forge onward.
· A merge sign means that you are to match speed with the flow of traffic BEFORE joining the stream. Similar to a yield, your task is to avoid effecting the progress of other drivers.
Very few people seem to understand either the tricks or the etiquette for driving in bumper-to-bumper traffic. The first key is that the closer you follow the car in front of you, the worse the traffic jam will be and the longer it will last. Every time you brake hard or come to a complete stop, there is an accordion effect behind you. The first guy jumps on the binders a little faster and harder than you did, and so on down the line, which extends the jam further and further back. In fact, most jams are caused by someone jamming on the breaks unnecessarily when traffic is still flowing at speed.
Why do you stick to the bumper of the car in front of you when traffic is barely moving? I know, you’re afraid someone from an adjacent lane will cut in front of you if you leave any room.
So what if they do? You’ll get to work one car-length later?
There is no speed at which this is a viable argument.
The only time tailgating is permissible relates to item one in the above list; when some asshole has determined that the left lane is just the spot for a leisurely drive.
Even in such a situation, the tailgating should only last a few seconds. A good driver will recognize that you want to get by and will move aside at the first opportunity. Staying on their bumper when the right lane is crowded is pointless and dangerous.
The idiot will continue on for miles with your grill in their mirror. Don’t bother risking your life sending a visual message to the blind. You may be forced to pass on the right, always the more dangerous option, especially on a multi-lane highway.
If you are someone who is often passed on the right, you’re an idiot. Stop driving in the left lane.
Other than while sending a “move over” message to the highway pace car, at all times – and all speeds – you should keep enough room between you and the car in front to allow another car in.
At high speed, this allows others to slide over when they encounter slower traffic.
At low speeds, it allows you to release the gas pedal and let the engine’s compression slow you down without having to flash your brake lights at the car behind you – possibly causing him to extend the jam.
At any speed, it gives you the opportunity to react to sudden changes. The more room, the more options you have. If you’re too close, your only option is to mash the brakes and pray. With just a little more room, you might be able to steer to the side. Even if you end up off the road, you’ll likely be better off than if you slammed into the other car.
If everyone on the road were willing to leave just a little more room between cars, our traffic problems would be greatly reduced. It is a myth that jams are caused purely by volume. Most of them are caused by idiots. Think of the past fifty traffic jams you’ve been stuck in. How many of them had any discernable cause, like an accident or a disabled car? Ten, maybe?
That means the other forty were caused by idiots.
If it sets your mind at ease, most drivers are idiots. So if the things I’m saying are hitting a little close to home, you have plenty of company.
The typical rush hour jam is caused by a train of cars following too closely at speed. Perhaps the first guy sees brake lights a quarter mile ahead (the minimum distance you should be watching) and lets off the gas in anticipation… he is not the idiot. The second guy, who is already following too close panics when the other car suddenly gets closer, and hits the brakes. Upon seeing his brake lights, car #3 overreacts even more.
The pisser about this is, these first idiots remain clueless to the disaster unfolding behind them. After their initial tap of the brakes, they’ve continued on without further issues. Within a minute or two, due to the accordion effect – the cars a mile or so back suddenly find themselves at a dead stop.
Don’t block intersections when you’re stuck in traffic. Leave room for cross traffic to get through. And allow drivers from cross streets to join the misery if they’re indicating a desire to do so.
Take 5 seconds to back and fill if your first attempt at parking didn’t end with you between the lines. I personally think I should be within my legal rights to do physical damage to your car if it is straddling the line.
If you are one of the first 4 cars at a stop light, pay attention. Driver number 10 might actually get through on the green if you move your ass promptly.
If a light turns yellow before you reach the intersection, stop at the limit line.
If you’re not POSITIVE that you’ll make it through a congested intersection before the light changes, don’t try.
Give tractor trailer drivers a break. Signal well ahead of time when changing lanes in front of them, and don’t make the move until you’re well in front of them. Not only can they not stop as quickly as you, they can’t see the road right in front of them.
When a trucker signals a lane change in front of you, flash your hi-beams when he’s clear to move over. He’ll give a thank you flash of his trailer lights, and you will have helped clear the left lane for other drivers.
If you drive/ride a vehicle with loud exhaust, be considerate while driving through residential neighborhoods. Nobody is impressed when you burp the throttle at 2 in the morning and wake up their kid.
If you ride a bike and can’t be bothered to be considerate, you’re the reason people fight for noise ordinances. It is true that ‘loud pipes save lives’, but if you expect people to support the idea – stop being a dick.
That’s it for now, but I have a feeling this is only the first in a series.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
in progress
Let me take a moment to say that this blog is currently in its earliest stages of development.
Its title should not be considered as a set of shackles. I will often use this space just to spout-off and rant to my heart's content.
I am currently trying to figure out the best way to add links to my favorite sites and friends. Keep your eyes on the sidebar. Today I added the Helium graphic-link to my "about me" page on that site. My intention is to link that to my articles. For the time being; there is a tab on the page you're linked to titled "articles". Click on that to read my stuff.
I have several ideas percolating for my next How Not To... stay tuned, the next should be up within a few days.
I also want to go on record as saying that Keith Olberman is destined to become one of the most important voices in American political reporting history. Big ol clanky brass balls, combined with concise thoughts and a charismatic demeanor equal my current TV hero.
"You, sir..."
Its title should not be considered as a set of shackles. I will often use this space just to spout-off and rant to my heart's content.
I am currently trying to figure out the best way to add links to my favorite sites and friends. Keep your eyes on the sidebar. Today I added the Helium graphic-link to my "about me" page on that site. My intention is to link that to my articles. For the time being; there is a tab on the page you're linked to titled "articles". Click on that to read my stuff.
I have several ideas percolating for my next How Not To... stay tuned, the next should be up within a few days.
I also want to go on record as saying that Keith Olberman is destined to become one of the most important voices in American political reporting history. Big ol clanky brass balls, combined with concise thoughts and a charismatic demeanor equal my current TV hero.
"You, sir..."
Saturday, February 9, 2008
...approach a remodeling project
So you've finally had it, huh?
The avacado-green cabinets and red floor in the kitchen have set your teeth on edge since the first time you looked at the house, but the price and the school district were right. So you moved in with the ambitious plan that the kitchen would be a contemporary showcase in no time.
Or maybe you just can't stand the outdated fixtures in the bathroom, or the cat-pee stains on the hardwood floors in the guest room.
Whatever your specific remodeling concern is, I bet you feel pretty confident that you can handle it yourself, right?
Contractors are a bunch of shysters, after all.
Tradespeople are drunks, drug addicts and criminals - otherwise they would have made the smart choice like you did. That guy in the pickup truck you saw in the 7-11 parking lot the other day. He seemed like a decent enough guy, gave you the last parking spot and all. But what's with all the tattoos? If he'd played his cards right - like you did - he could have his own cubicle, too. Replete with dangling-kitty poster and everything. Poor guy.
And he seemed perfectly comfortable even though his boots were caked with mud, his knuckles had fresh blood on them and he was covered in an even film of wood dust. And let's be honest, he smelled like sweat. So sad that some people have to live that way, isn't it?
You watch TLC, HGTV, DIY and "Extreme Makeover" on ABC. That Ty Pennington sure is a firecracker, isn't he? All of those folks always get the job done on time and within budget. And they always look so GOOD. Nice and clean.
You've watched the other shows, too. The ones where people who have been renovating houses for decades honestly try to explain how the job should be done. Doesn't look so hard, does it? Everything tied up in a nice neat package in 21 to 42 minutes.
While some of these shows are exceptional, and most do offer certain kernels of wisdom - they should not be considered, and are not intended to be training manuals.
Yet every month thousands of people across the country allow themselves to believe that by watching these shows, reading a book and doing a little internet research, they're capable of tackling whatever remodeling project they have in mind.
Let's say you're a computer programmer for an alarm company, and you meet me at a party. My muddy boots are at home on the porch, I've washed the drywall dust and glue out of my hair, and I've changed out of my work clothes. You have no idea what I do for a living, but I ask about your job. Once you've told me your occupation, I fly into a monologue about the computer program I'm getting ready to write. I've decided to side-step the alarm companies (they're just out for the profits, after all) and create my own home security system. A web site sells the hardware I need for a great price, and I found two books online that I'm sure will teach me all I need to know: "Computer Programming for A-holes" and "Residential Security for the Patently Stupid".
You try to explain that home security is not something to be trifled with. I am convinced of my ability. After all, if that geek on DIY can do it, I sure as hell can. You try again to encourage me to hire a professional to do the job. Again I resist and ask for your phone number so I can call you in a few weeks when the job is done. I want you to come over and look at the code I'm going to write. I've had a few beers and am obviosly not going to let the subject die unless you agree, so you give me your card. Sure enough, after a few weeks you get a call from me.
Only, rather than calling to brag about the amazing job I've done on my Security System - I'm calling you in to pull my ass out of the fire. I've spent way more money than I had budgeted for and nothing I've tried has worked. I bellyache to you that the books made it seem so easy, I can't imagine how I could be SO STUPID as not to be able to create, program and build my own security system. My wife is at her wit's end. She'd wanted to hire a professional from the beginning. I'm nearly out of money and I really need your help. As a friend - we've met once at a party when we were both pretty hammered - I'm hoping that you might be able to help me out.
Which means I want you to fill in the hole I dug for myself. I want you to do it on your time off, and most importantly, I want you to do it for free. Well, I'll give you pizza and beer.
I can't rebuild an engine in a weekend. I can't run the HR department at a Law firm. I can't perform Arthroscopic surgery.
The avacado-green cabinets and red floor in the kitchen have set your teeth on edge since the first time you looked at the house, but the price and the school district were right. So you moved in with the ambitious plan that the kitchen would be a contemporary showcase in no time.
Or maybe you just can't stand the outdated fixtures in the bathroom, or the cat-pee stains on the hardwood floors in the guest room.
Whatever your specific remodeling concern is, I bet you feel pretty confident that you can handle it yourself, right?
Contractors are a bunch of shysters, after all.
Tradespeople are drunks, drug addicts and criminals - otherwise they would have made the smart choice like you did. That guy in the pickup truck you saw in the 7-11 parking lot the other day. He seemed like a decent enough guy, gave you the last parking spot and all. But what's with all the tattoos? If he'd played his cards right - like you did - he could have his own cubicle, too. Replete with dangling-kitty poster and everything. Poor guy.
And he seemed perfectly comfortable even though his boots were caked with mud, his knuckles had fresh blood on them and he was covered in an even film of wood dust. And let's be honest, he smelled like sweat. So sad that some people have to live that way, isn't it?
You watch TLC, HGTV, DIY and "Extreme Makeover" on ABC. That Ty Pennington sure is a firecracker, isn't he? All of those folks always get the job done on time and within budget. And they always look so GOOD. Nice and clean.
You've watched the other shows, too. The ones where people who have been renovating houses for decades honestly try to explain how the job should be done. Doesn't look so hard, does it? Everything tied up in a nice neat package in 21 to 42 minutes.
While some of these shows are exceptional, and most do offer certain kernels of wisdom - they should not be considered, and are not intended to be training manuals.
Yet every month thousands of people across the country allow themselves to believe that by watching these shows, reading a book and doing a little internet research, they're capable of tackling whatever remodeling project they have in mind.
Let's say you're a computer programmer for an alarm company, and you meet me at a party. My muddy boots are at home on the porch, I've washed the drywall dust and glue out of my hair, and I've changed out of my work clothes. You have no idea what I do for a living, but I ask about your job. Once you've told me your occupation, I fly into a monologue about the computer program I'm getting ready to write. I've decided to side-step the alarm companies (they're just out for the profits, after all) and create my own home security system. A web site sells the hardware I need for a great price, and I found two books online that I'm sure will teach me all I need to know: "Computer Programming for A-holes" and "Residential Security for the Patently Stupid".
You try to explain that home security is not something to be trifled with. I am convinced of my ability. After all, if that geek on DIY can do it, I sure as hell can. You try again to encourage me to hire a professional to do the job. Again I resist and ask for your phone number so I can call you in a few weeks when the job is done. I want you to come over and look at the code I'm going to write. I've had a few beers and am obviosly not going to let the subject die unless you agree, so you give me your card. Sure enough, after a few weeks you get a call from me.
Only, rather than calling to brag about the amazing job I've done on my Security System - I'm calling you in to pull my ass out of the fire. I've spent way more money than I had budgeted for and nothing I've tried has worked. I bellyache to you that the books made it seem so easy, I can't imagine how I could be SO STUPID as not to be able to create, program and build my own security system. My wife is at her wit's end. She'd wanted to hire a professional from the beginning. I'm nearly out of money and I really need your help. As a friend - we've met once at a party when we were both pretty hammered - I'm hoping that you might be able to help me out.
Which means I want you to fill in the hole I dug for myself. I want you to do it on your time off, and most importantly, I want you to do it for free. Well, I'll give you pizza and beer.
I can't rebuild an engine in a weekend. I can't run the HR department at a Law firm. I can't perform Arthroscopic surgery.
These are all tasks I am capable of performing, yet I can't do a single one of them. Why do you suppose that is? Could it be that I lack the education, training and experience?
If you are commited to tackling a remodeling project on your own, go for it. I'm not writing this How Not To in an effort to talk you out of it.
I'm only trying to point out the pitfalls in my roundabout way. I've lost count of the jobs I've done over the years that resulted from a homeowner trying to go it on their own. In every case the job cost at least double what it would of had I been the first one there.
Undoing is more expensive than doing.
Start small. Get a feel for your tools and materials. If you've never replaced a faucet, you're not ready to plumb that new addition. If you've never installed a new ceiling fixture, you're not ready put in a new circuit breaker.
And for God's sake, if you don't know which walls are load-bearing, put down the freakin' Sawzall!
A well-done remodel can not only make your house into the home you've always dreamed of, it will increase it's market value, too.
If you are anything like 99% of the country, your home is your single largest investment, and your car is a distant second. Yet you're probably more willing to risk damaging the former with your amateur experimentation than you are the latter.
A remodeling project is not something to be entered into lightly. Especially if you are considering doing it yourself. Do some research. Take some classes at the local community college.
Most contractors' profit and overhead only equals 15 to 20 percent of the total job cost. Is it really worth saving that amount just to say "I did it myself"? Especially when the quality of your work is likely to be substandard - and noticeable to any home inspector or Realtor during a walkthrough?
These are all things to think about.
If you just really want to get your hands dirty and make your house your own by doing the work yourself, I applaud you. You are not the audience this post was written for. As I said in my opening, this post is directed to the folks out there who think an outdated kitchen defines them. The people who just can't stand the fact that their friends have shiny brand new surfaces in their homes, and feel a need to keep up with the Jones'.
If you are in that group, look in the mirror and admit it to yourself. Consider that you are rushing a very important decision out of vanity. Consider that your experience likely doesn't translate to the task at hand. If you're considering doing the work yourself because of the double-whammy of a low budget combined with an inability to delay gratification - you're on a very dangerous path.
The "easy" remodel is a mythical beast, it doesn't exist. Every remodel creates discomfort, dust, dirt, inconvenience, noise and worry for the homeowner. Doing the work yourself adds a slew of other concerns to that list.
What will you do if you tear down the old plaster and find black mold growing in your walls? What if you discover termite damage? Do you know where the gas lines are running? Where is the valve to the water main? What happens if you strain your back loading the drywall and can't go to work? Suddenly you've got a demolished kitchen and no paycheck. These are the type of issues you need to consider.
So. What not to do when approaching a remodeling project?
Don't think its as easy as it looks. That filthy guy at the 7-11? As hard as it may be to believe, he's very good at what he does. He's worked long and hard to get there. He works for people who could buy and sell you with just the money in their checking account, and they consider him a friend. Most of his waking hours are spent creating dream homes for people who were either smart enough to realize that the job was beyond their skill-set, or called him after they'd dug themselves a hole they couldn't climb out of. He won't judge you for the mistakes you've made if you need to call him in. And when he spies the "Remodeling for Dummies" book on the shelf in the garage, he'll only chuckle a little bit.
After all, if you've called him - you've learned it isn't a job for dummies.
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